We got back from an awesome trip to Peru a couple of weeks ago. It was a fun and incredible experience doused with exhaustion and topped with a dash of crazy. A few months ago my dad asked if we wanted to take a trip there to visit our family. While I really wanted to, I didn’t want to go without my husband. He had already taken so much time off earlier in the year to spend time with my ailing mother-in-law and her subsequent death, he just couldn’t take off any more time. I knew I’d have help from my parents but it just isn’t the same as having help from your spouse. You can’t give your parents “the look” and make them put the kids to bed. That being said, I took a leap of faith and went to Peru for 3 weeks with my 4 kids, my parents and my little brother.
If you know me or have read my blog posts you’ll know that I am not really the adventurous type. But in order to give my kids the experience they would have gotten if their dad was there, I had to step up to the plate and be the adventurous mom. It’s here that I learned a few things about myself.
I was reading a comment on a friend’s facebook post about body image and someone said since becoming a Mom she had to set her priorities straight so she didn’t give time to wishing she were somebody else. Isn’t it true though? After becoming a Mom and/or adult I find my time is precious. WHen I map everything out I only have a few small blocks of time to devote to other things that aren’t for the home or the kids. Do I honestly want to devote my time to things that won’t bring me joy?
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- Drama: While I had a pretty awesome high school experience, I just want to say that we are adults and aren’t in high school anymore with the whispers, the gossip, the exaggerations, playing victim, etc. I honestly have my own kids to worry about so I don’t need to worry about anymore juveniles. Sound mean? Sorry, but it’s true. Mentally, I just can’t with adults behaving like kids. You can’t brush it off anymore and think “oh, they are just kids and will grow out of it.” You’re 30 and still haven’t grown out of it? Mmm…. sorry. I can’t have that in my life. I love you and I’ll help you but I cannot surround myself and my family with that mumbo jumbo.
- Fear: Ah. So much fear. Fear of failure. Fear of judgement. Fear of rejection. Fear of heights- haha! But for real. Fear is real and can very much paralyze you from achieving great adventures. When we were at the resort in Ica, Las Dunas, the guides led us up one of the sand dunes so we could sand board. I got all pumped and climbed up with my kids. Every step my heart started beating faster in anticipation of the steep inclination down we were about to sand-board down. I chickened out and did the walk of shame with my kids. I honestly was so disappointment in myself. I wanted my kids to experience something new and exciting but I stood there, gazing out at this gorgeous view of the resort and surrounded by sand dunes- paralyzed. That evening I was deteremined to not let those fears dictate me again. A few days later we jumped on dune buggies and sand-boarded down the sand dunes (a much less steep one- ahhah!). My kids loved it. I loved it. I loved being able to experience that with my kids.
- Perfection: Scrolling down and seeing all these beautiful and clean homes, stylish and dolled up moms, on trend kids, organic meals, luxurious vacations, perfect moms baking perfect cupcakes for their preschooler, etc. on instagram can really do a number to your self esteem. All you see are snippets of a filtered life. Some of these people actually do this as their job. I do it as part of my job. Is it real life? Yes. In a way. But it is also curated. So I can’t compare my worst to their best. Or my best to their best really. Everyone has their talents and I can’t be awesome at everything. I can cook a good meal but I can’t cook like Giada. Her best and my best are like on totally different levels. So, I’ll just compare myself to my old self. And try to be better. Not to be better than that girl on IG who goes on these beautiful adventures and her kids are dressed to perfection but be better than the Brenda from yesterday who lost her patience with her kids, to not give my kids cereal for dinner, to take a shower.
Everyone has so much to offer to this world. Everyone has these talents to share with the world, whether it is your baking skills or the gift you have for listening. Let’s not waste our precious mommy time on trivial things. Let’s use our time for something productive and uplifting. Love you guys!